Summer 2008 is extremely overrated. I'm really ready for school to start, work to take over my life and do nothing else. Sounds exciting right? I've got nothing to show for this summer. I love spending my time with close friends, of course, but I just feel like something's not right with it all. I've got about seven close friends... I'm not sure if I'd classify that as a lot but the thing about that is six of them go away to school and one stays at county with me. I'm pretty confident that if I didn't have her, I'd be insane (Yeah lace, thank god for ya champ).
I'm taking 17 credits next semester which isn't too bad I guess. I'll start volunteering by mid august too I believe, hopefully this job pulls through and I've officialy said goodbye to a social life. Looking at all this transfer stuff just makes my head spin. My mom does NOT want me to leave. I just heard about a 3 hour long lecture about how much I'm going to hate living far away from home and how I should just settle for Rutgers and stay here. I feel too locked up here. It's all too familiar and I need change in my life. I'm tired of all the same stop signs and faces.
Props to Kevin for just texting me "hey there delilah"... fool you crazy? Anyway...
I finally got to see Diane today which was amazing. Being that she was my first real friend in this town, having her go to school the farthest from me is a bitch. I'm just ever so thankful that we've been able to remain close throughout all these miles. It's strange too because we're going through extremely similar situations... one in which I thought I'd forever be alone in. I'm really just unhappy with the way things are I guess... but I can't do anythign to change it. I'm losing my mind I think. I won't talk about this anymore with people I just brush over the topic. It takes me three hours to prepare for three seconds. It's ridiculous.
All in all this isn't where I want to be physically, emotionally, demographically? lol. I just need a change of scenary, change of pace, and I'm praying for a change of heart. Scenary within the next year, pace in the next month, heart probably never. I just need people to get off my back. Stop telling me what YOU want me to think because it's what YOU want. No, I can't fix your problems anymore. My rational for things is bullshit and advice I spit but can't follow. Advice is pretty much pointless at this stage. It's sink or swim and that's that. Keep your cheap shots for someone else and sweet talkin for something with a sweet tooth.
Well.. amen for shark week :)
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i'll be saying goodbye to a social life soon too hopefully.. getting a new job or two and saving and leaving for virginia. yeah.. i've got family and the greatest friends ever but i need something new. i need to be somewhere new and i wanna be with my girl. the only people i ever see is my girl, andy and all my drug addict friends (even though i love them to death, i cant deal anymore) and faces that i could care less about. its time to at least try to go out there on my own. i'm with you, i know everything here and am sick of the same old stop signs and faces.
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