I Must Be Dreaming

I've been the happiest I've ever been in, well... we'll just say a long time. Tonight I went to Carly's to just hang out and be girls and do whatever.... I thought I'd check out someones facebook on her account... (yes facebook is the end of all) and much to my suprise.. he remembers me? HA!

a dear friend says "i almost wrote on courtney's wall... just fer laughs"
......................


and if that weren't enough
when looked into what that fuck said back...........
"Maybe I should post some letter on her wall about how I've been deep undercover/in a coma for the past 4 months and now ive made it out. Yeah, start posting things on my wall about how you're happy i finally made it out of my barbiturate induced coma. We'll trick her."


ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! seriously. HOW OLD ARE WE? And how do we think my name came back into the picture??


OH hmm.. "OH WAIT i'm in new jersey... Courtney is from new jersey... how is that girl" - creep facebook- fuck she's got a boyfriend?! lets make up some good reason as to why i've been gone for 4 months. CHECK YOURSELF, asshole.






Fuck yourself.

I Will Follow You Into The Dark

I'm very happy :)

2008

I'm so happy its over.
It's been a really long year.



Overall, my friends have been fantastic even if I've done nothing but complain about the ones I lost and so on.



For 2009- No Stefan. It's gonna be great




Ringing it in tonight with bub :)
it's a good start to 2009 and i wouldn't miss it for the world

Better

Well, the new year is approaching...
And I'm the happiest I've been in a long time.

The Time I Gave Charleston My All

So within at least a week I've been able to turn the world upside down. I thought I was pretty good at keeping my cool with everything but I let my emotions get the best of me and whats worse is I could see the mess I was making and yet I did nothing to stop it. I don't think I've ever actually made a mistake like this before, but I don't even want to call it a mistake. I think thats whats worst.

It's really got me thinking today. I was so confident in what I wanted and at the first sign of a loss I gave up and lost myself. I've never got the shakes and nerves like that. Never once thought I could be so scared like that. Oh the heart is a fragile thing. I lied something awful. I can't take it back but at the same time I don't want to. I was selfish and I don't think I should apologize for going after what I want.

I should just apologize for the fact that I was reckless and jealous and pessimistic and vulnerable and just plain neglectful. I took steps blindly into something- well I don't really know what it was but it was powerful enough to knock me off my chair and reasses myself. Hey reality check. One thing I don't think I'll ever be able to understand is why was he able to make me forget, even for a moment.

Tomorrow my sister gets her make over and I'm really excited for her. She deserves to feel good about herself. I just hope now that she's ready to actually go out there and do things she'll be a little smarter because of all the mistakes I've made. She'll be getting all dolled up as I try to make sure I can make a good impression. I have to make sure my nerves don't get the best of me tomorrow at this Christmas thing with the fire department. No pressure Courtney Lynn, no pressure! BAHHHHH

I get to see my sister grow up tomorrow, my mom be paranoid tomorrow, see my best friends tomorrow, and have a fun night :) mmmmmmmmmmmmm Christmas please be kind.

Fearless

Late night drives to Princeton, laying on cartops to watch the stars, OD'ing on coffee... yeah. I could get use to this

Tell Me

I'm really happy with the way things have been turning out. School's getting a little harder being that the semester is soon ending but that's okay. Friends are fantastic. I got to see Lizzy Carly Meg and Coley :) I've missed them so much. It was cool to just hang out and talk about everything we've been up to since the last time we were all together and the funny thing about that is no matter how far apart we phsyically are, it hasn't stopped us from being closer than we've ever been.

On the subject of friends... Well certain best friends are interesting. Who'da thunk that person that fucked up my live ridiculously would actually turn into someone I call when I need advice or need to vent. And to add on to that- who'da thunk he'd call me to calm him down and put his mind at ease?! Pretty much no one but it kinda fills the space where ant use to be... WEIRD weird weird without that shit.

Works a little drama-filled but it keeps it interesting I suppose.

Concerning other matters.... I like driving around doing absolutely nothingggg with a cute boy.


Hey december :)