I'm so happy its over.
It's been a really long year.
Overall, my friends have been fantastic even if I've done nothing but complain about the ones I lost and so on.
For 2009- No Stefan. It's gonna be great
Ringing it in tonight with bub :)
it's a good start to 2009 and i wouldn't miss it for the world
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
The Time I Gave Charleston My All
So within at least a week I've been able to turn the world upside down. I thought I was pretty good at keeping my cool with everything but I let my emotions get the best of me and whats worse is I could see the mess I was making and yet I did nothing to stop it. I don't think I've ever actually made a mistake like this before, but I don't even want to call it a mistake. I think thats whats worst.
It's really got me thinking today. I was so confident in what I wanted and at the first sign of a loss I gave up and lost myself. I've never got the shakes and nerves like that. Never once thought I could be so scared like that. Oh the heart is a fragile thing. I lied something awful. I can't take it back but at the same time I don't want to. I was selfish and I don't think I should apologize for going after what I want.
I should just apologize for the fact that I was reckless and jealous and pessimistic and vulnerable and just plain neglectful. I took steps blindly into something- well I don't really know what it was but it was powerful enough to knock me off my chair and reasses myself. Hey reality check. One thing I don't think I'll ever be able to understand is why was he able to make me forget, even for a moment.
Tomorrow my sister gets her make over and I'm really excited for her. She deserves to feel good about herself. I just hope now that she's ready to actually go out there and do things she'll be a little smarter because of all the mistakes I've made. She'll be getting all dolled up as I try to make sure I can make a good impression. I have to make sure my nerves don't get the best of me tomorrow at this Christmas thing with the fire department. No pressure Courtney Lynn, no pressure! BAHHHHH
I get to see my sister grow up tomorrow, my mom be paranoid tomorrow, see my best friends tomorrow, and have a fun night :) mmmmmmmmmmmmm Christmas please be kind.
It's really got me thinking today. I was so confident in what I wanted and at the first sign of a loss I gave up and lost myself. I've never got the shakes and nerves like that. Never once thought I could be so scared like that. Oh the heart is a fragile thing. I lied something awful. I can't take it back but at the same time I don't want to. I was selfish and I don't think I should apologize for going after what I want.
I should just apologize for the fact that I was reckless and jealous and pessimistic and vulnerable and just plain neglectful. I took steps blindly into something- well I don't really know what it was but it was powerful enough to knock me off my chair and reasses myself. Hey reality check. One thing I don't think I'll ever be able to understand is why was he able to make me forget, even for a moment.
Tomorrow my sister gets her make over and I'm really excited for her. She deserves to feel good about herself. I just hope now that she's ready to actually go out there and do things she'll be a little smarter because of all the mistakes I've made. She'll be getting all dolled up as I try to make sure I can make a good impression. I have to make sure my nerves don't get the best of me tomorrow at this Christmas thing with the fire department. No pressure Courtney Lynn, no pressure! BAHHHHH
I get to see my sister grow up tomorrow, my mom be paranoid tomorrow, see my best friends tomorrow, and have a fun night :) mmmmmmmmmmmmm Christmas please be kind.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Fearless
Late night drives to Princeton, laying on cartops to watch the stars, OD'ing on coffee... yeah. I could get use to this
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